The Expectant Heart

Why is this expectant heart,
Endlessly expecting the impossible?
Every moment, spending as ages long,
Like the lonely insomniac’s sleepless nights.

Out in the dark,
Why is the heart waiting for that sparkling streak
Of the Shooting Star?

Why is that childish desire
Bent upon hoping the stone idol to speak?
Why there is this deep false belief so permanent,
That earth actually could embrace the sky?

Is that horizon not just an illusion?
Why it feels like to melt away the whole being,
Being absorbed in that intoxicating glance,
Surrendering to entirety?

Why it feels like a lost battle,
Where nothing is to be won?
But need is to keep fighting
Against that original attraction,
Keeping at bay that eternal bond,
Of thousands of lives before and hence!
An agony why it dawns,
From something so divine,
So pristine and heavenly?

May be it is the way of Gods.
With pain, redeeming the mortal soul,
Of all its sins and faults!
Sings Simoni, as he passes by,
The song of his pain.
In this lonely world,
Battling to be redeemed!

His battle is unique.
For battling he with his own soul!
None wants to win.
Cherishes each the agony,
The Agony of Being in Love.
The Agony of the Expectant Heart.

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His Love for his Most Precious!

Awakened from that dreamy Ecstasy,

Of that blissful togetherness with his love,

Simoni got back to his senses.

To find the same hard world,

The same stars and the same sky!

It was already dark outside – pitch dark black!

No more was his angel by his side,

Gone were all the warmth and cozy surrender.

It was an open terrace –

Lying was his solitary self, his canvas,

And his sweet memories of his angel –

The angel with the Most Beautiful Eyes!

Looked Simoni onto the sky,

Shouted he with all his strength,

Confronting Zeus direct from the heavens -

“Where is My Precious?

Where is the damsel,

The fairy with the Most Beautiful Eyes?”

Deep within him was the powerful urge,

To possess forever his Most Precious,

Only for himself, and his world,

To light his life with the crowning glory!

Craved Simoni to the depth of agony,

For eternal togetherness with his Most Precious!

Seeing down below on the mortal land,

His favorite son in deepest of pain,

Zeus descended on to Simoni,

Held him by His arm,

And made him stand!

“Your Most Precious –

The damsel with the Most Beautiful Eyes,

Is precious for the whole creation!

She is ascension of earthly nicety,

To heavenly perfection!

She is the arrival of the best of the self,

Of Venus herself!

It is not just you, but all heavens

Are intoxicated in her love! ”

Continued Zeus further –

“She is the hope of that perfect beauty,

Both in form and spirit!

She is the music to the harp,

She is the song of the Nightingale,

She is the glow of the Moon,

She is the ardor of the entire creation!

Your Precious is grander and much greater

Than your small ordinary heart!”

Hearing Zeus utter the absolute truth,

As clear thunder in the night’s starry sky,

Apollo descended right from the mount Olympus,

Stood he beside Simoni!

Embracing the lovelorn soul,

Apollo confided on Simoni,

“Be not sad my son,

An ordinary mortal is not for whom the Moon is made!

She is to sprinkle the glow of serene love to all creation –

The rivers, the mountains, the deer, the waterfalls, the oceans, the seagulls!

The entire nature is alive just due to her love!

Your Most Precious, is mine Most Precious too!

Don’t tie her up in the clutches of the desires

Of your limited mortal self!

Don’t demean the damsel

With the Most Beautiful Eyes!”

Simoni, looked on to Zeus and Apollo,

And expressed his apologies with weak voice,

“Lost was I in the base instincts of being a mortal,

O great Lords!

Forgotten had I that my dearest love –

The Lady with the Most Beautiful Eyes is not earthly!

She is divine – Grander than all Godliness put together!

How can I even dream of having her

In the small and ordinary heart of mine!

She is grander than any possible reality in my modest world,

She is just a dream – a magnanimous apparition,

Which shall never come to light!”

“But then My Precious is concealed for just me –

Deeply loved, cared and protected in my memories!

She is just mine, and no one else’s,

In that Sanctum Sanctorum of my sacramental heart!

Hidden far from every one – All Gods, Humans, Flora and Fauna!

Its just me and my damsel!

She might not ever glance with kindness on me,

But shall I be ever hers,

This birth and the next,

Till eternity…”, silently voiced out to his heart,

A retreating Simoni,

Leaving behind Zeus and Apollo,

Wonder struck at the glow, elegance and honor of

His Love for his Most Precious!

This is a sequel to the poem - The Profound Intoxication - http://criativ-mind.blogspot.com/2011/09/profound-intoxication.html

For more poems on Michel Simoni refer - http://criativ-mind.blogspot.com/search/label/SIMONI%20SERIES
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Copy Right © All rights reserved - Samrat Kar

The Profound Intoxication

In deep slumber was Michel Simoni,
After a tired and long day.
Working hard was he on his
Rendition of his dreamy angel,
With the Most Beautiful Eyes,
With the soul of Gold!
Was he in work,
For almost four long years,
But he knew, he had miles to go
Before the final finish!

Trying was he to imprint those
Divine Most Beautiful eyes,
And that celestial soul,
On his canvas,
Dipping his brush into the color of his deepest love,
From the palette of color –
His innermost recesses of his lonely heart!

The day was long and task tough on hand,
As usual trying was he, his best,
To condense into the world of form,
His profound love from the realms of non-form!
Was he confused, was he lost.
For no stroke was coming out,
As breathtaking as the tender depth of
Those Most Beautiful Eyes!

Tired to death was Simoni,
After long days labor!
Reclined he on his couch.
Capturing his damsel tight in his eyes,
Holding her love deep in his heart,
Simoni surrendered in the lap of slumber!

Deep down in the sea of slumber,
Something most fascinating happened to Simoni!
For his damsel alit from the sky,
Smiled at him with her open arms!

Simoni, trance fixed in love,
Went to his beloved!
Like an intoxication that he never had experienced!
Simoni drugged to his core,
Was getting pulled towards her,
His Goddess – The love divine!

Was he not able to
Keep his eyes open!
Never were his eye lids so heavy.
He just could not keep them open!
Like slowly some power sucking him in,
Into the distant land of bliss,
He felt like drowned,
Totally powerless,
Giving fully to the attraction of his love,
The intoxication of those
Most Beautiful Eyes!

In that dream land,
Deep in sleep,
Simoni was trying to be awake,
To the best he could!
But then he had to surrender,
Surrender completely,
To the affectionate caress of
His Goddess, his love – his imagination!
His truth!

Cuddled he his face,
Into the infinite warmth of her bosom.
Lost was he,
For could he see the seven heavens!
No words, no expressions, nothing material
Could even come close to what he was feeling!
There was no thought,
There was no mind,
What was there was just being,
A feeling of love,
Deep drenched to his core!

Into that silent meditation
In the trance of intoxication
Of his heavenly love,
Simoni closed his eyes,
And let him loose,
Drowning himself along with the current,
Of the flow of being in love,
With none other than,
His own Goddess!
He knew, it was this moment,
For which he was alive!

In his dream world,
Did Simoni taste the nectar,
Of his profound and pristine love,
Experienced he the oneness of himself
With his profound grace – his pride – his honor – his love!
Never had this happened
Ever in any realm, in any world!

Simoni felt like all his penance has bore real fruit!
Years of his love’s labor was paid back,
Multiplied many folds!
For he could experience the deep bond,
He shares with his love!
He could feel literally that immense pull,
That in-evitable attraction,
That un-deniable bond!
He was sanctified with the tender touch,
The cozy feel,
The intimate bond,
And intimacy beyond human comprehension!

Sank he into her bosom,
Like an infant parched in thirst!
Quenched was his heart to the deepest,
With that infinite affection,
That warmth of Love,
Like never before!

For the world it was just a dream.
For Simoni it was the essence of his entire life!

More poems on Michel Simoni - 
http://criativ-mind.blogspot.com/search/label/SIMONI%20SERIES
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Copy Right © All rights reserved - Samrat Kar

The Sacred Journey

In my several years of long journey to discover my relationship with God I have been going through an interesting phase of redefining what God stands for me. Of late I am going through a unique realization of a strong presence of God in my consciousness. I would not confuse you with further beating around the bush on God, and His presence in my life. Let me directly jump on to the core of this essay – What God is for me.

An ideal, A perfection, A righteous self, An invincible warrior for loftiest cause, A being with absolutely unconditional compassion and love for all, An all understanding and ever forgiving, An all powerful, Omnipresent, Omnipotent, A beacon of “Dharma”, A Light House, An immortal – never ending highest potential fulfilled – These are a few labels I would like to associate with my God. That God is beautifully instantiated in the forms of myths and folklores, in which my limited human mind can comprehend – in the form of Krishna, Shiva, Zeus, Venus, etc. The best aspect of Gods is that they share the form similar to mine – They are either men or women. That makes me appreciate them even more! How can someone be as lofty and honorable as Shiva – a man who could drink poison for the wellbeing of others!! How inspirational is being a charioteer and at the same time be a philosopher of the scale as Krishna!! How divine is the conception of the perfect beauty of Venus. How inspiring it is to conceive of a woman as powerful, confident, self-sufficient, independent, beautiful and knowledgeable as Durga!

There are thousands of mythologies in all major civilizations which sing about the greatness of each of these Gods! All these myths are codified stories of something much more profound and philosophically relevant for humanity, beyond what they appear – a fairy tale.

For example in Mahabharata, the entire episode of the battle at Kurukshetra is a symbolism. Pandavas (one’s higher self) are in battle with Kauravas (one’s lower self), to rule Hastinapur (The land of higher consciousness). Arjuna symbolizes a common man being tormented in his inner battle between his lower self and the higher, being guided by Krishna – The Ideal! Krishna is the pathfinder, the beacon, the mentor – the charioteer – giving direction to the evolution of the common man – The Arjuna.

The philosophy of Krishna in the Bhagavat Gita, fills me with so much respect for a person  like Krishna. It is irrelevant for me whether He is just a work of art, or a historical figure. No matter who he was, he symbolizes the perfect. That is more important. A glance at the Lord shows me a way – a way he stands for – a way which I can also take – at any and every moment of my life.

Same is the case when I glance on Shiva. A person who is totally untouched by worldly pursuits! A person who stands for end of anything that is not relevant any more. A person who is all powerful, and who is altruist to the core! A person who stands beyond his personal whims and likes! A person who would end any creation if that is not what is needed! A person who can sustain all the hardships of staying in the wilderness of snowcapped mountains, and animals, dedicating his being for the wellbeing of the entire creation.

Same is the case with all the deities in most of the major civilizations. Rama, Zeus, Aphrodite, Apollo, Athena, Durga, Kali, Brahma, Vishnu, etc all stand for a bigger than life ideal. Contemplation of each of these Gods, and the myths surrounding them, fills a human with so much inspiration! They act as archetypes which aid man to hold on something strong and stable, in otherwise transient and illusory world.

At the same time, one very important thing to keep in mind is that God is not human. He stands for something which is abstract – something which is not touched by the baseness of being human. God in these myths are abstract beings who personify superlative forms of humanly virtures totally un-adulterated. Gods work as a psychological ideal for every human to aspire as a role model. That is something which is very interesting. Gods paint a bigger than life – an inspiring possibility which is achievable – or atleast, worthy pursuing, even if not achieved. This spark and provoking, keeps the train of optimal evolution of human species ongoing!

I am enjoying my bliss at this newfound discovering for myself. For me God is real. God is the goodness instantiated in flesh and blood, in the form of all the great characters of several myths from different parts of the ancient world. God is a way of inspiration – a direction – inviting me to try out His lofty ways. God is beyond my reach – He is ideal. But it is fun living a life being a warrior, combating ones lower self, and trying to reach that lofty ideal – The God.

God is a my access to that part of me, which is beyond my body, my identity and my physical presence as a man with his own idiosyncrasies; A higher self -  A mystic self, beyond the limiting existence of being a mortal. My poems, my essays, my feelings are manifestations of that higher self of mine, which is a link of my mortal existence with the very real existence of the Ideal – The God. And anytime, if my thoughts, words, actions, mind and heart, starts to drift to the way of the lower self, it is the contemplation of the ideal in God, which keeps me on path – the path to a more beautiful possibility, a more inspirational option.

Life for me has become a sacred journey, reaching out to that God, in my own way – either by writing a good poem, or working hard at my work, or being kind, or being the best father, husband, friend, mentor or just a citizen. It is about dedicating all my thoughts, action, dreams and inspirations to “Krishna” or the “Shiva” or “Zeus” – to the ideals – all unique in their own respect! I understand that each God stands for an ideal in a unique dimension. Each inspire me in His own way!

I enjoy being simple, a naïve Indian, believing in existence of thousands of deities. I am proud, happy and grateful for getting this being in heritage! It makes things simple, beautiful and so much fun! The life becomes a work of art – of love, of devotion, of stories, of songs, of imaginations in all its forms!

Such blissful is this sacred journey, which I know I have just begun. The future inspires me with all its hidden adventures! 

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Copy Right © All rights reserved - Samrat Kar

When I cease to be..

When on that coming day and Eons hence,
This persona of mine ceases to exist,
When this form in flesh is no more,
When invincible death embraces
Me to disappearance from this physical arena..
When I cease to be,
Shall cease to be
A universe of its own making!

Shall cease to exist that
Beautiful garden,
Decorated by memories heartfelt!
In the forms of flowers of different shades,
Fragrances varied,
Each one a unique work of art,
Having its own honorable position,
In a venerated place!

So shall cease to exist that
Sparkling world as I see,
Colored with my biases an idiosyncrasies,
An enchanting wonderland,
A magical canvas,
Decorated with strokes,
Of shapes and colors not only different,
But also some un-comprehensible by
My awestruck little mind!

Shall cease to exist that throbbing Soul -
The busy weaver of the sheen of wizardry,
Being the Merlyn,
Casting the dust of magic,
On the world around,
Making everything around sing my song,
Dance in my rhythm!

Shall also be no more,
Those models of understanding,
That special way of looking at things,
Coupled and hardwired to my mind
Unique and wonderful to me,
And weird to others!

Shall also be no more,
Those moments of love and joy,
Held tight in the tattered lanes of memory,
Nourished by care and longing!

Will also be no more,
My heartbreaks, pains and pangs!
All shall be withered out to anonymity,
Like nothing ever existed!

But, shall persist through eternity,
My poems in this garden of reality,
Tirelessly gliding with renewed ardor,
Reaching your heart – my beloved reader,
Reminding you of a brimming soul,
With love and only love,
Trying its best to keep alive,
The magic of life,
Celebrating his consciousness,
With his vision, dreams, passions and meaning!
The characters of my stories,
The protagonists of my poems,
Shall be alive with never ending vigor,
Living their lives in various times of history,
All simultaneously,
Trying to carve out to reality,
Those invisible and uncharted,
Lanes of my being!

That being, like a beacon,
Guiding in the darkness,
Like a lighthouse amidst the tumultuous ocean,
Standing upright,
Handing over the wisdom,
Of the giants of the past,
To the budding visionaries of the future!
Keeps on at his war,
In the battle of “Kurukshetra”,
Taking sides of Ethics, Righteousness, and Love
Being the “Arjuna”,
As an unfaltering disciple of Life,
Meditating on the “Krishna”!
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Copy Right © All rights reserved - Samrat Kar