I will be there

I will be there...
When you are alone,
And you want someone to talk to.
When you need a soul
Not judging you,
When you need a shoulder to lean upon,
When you want a word of support,
Looking for a light,
At the end of a tunnel.
When you want someone who
Knows your shortcomings,
But still loves you,
And does not expect you to love him back,
When you want a friend,
To draw strength from.
When you lose your confidence,
and you are a bit lost.
When life has swamped you with
things more than you can handle,
When your dreams seem not to take shape,
When you regret, and end hopeless,
And need a rejuvenating shade amidst scorching adversity,
When tomorrow
The wrinkles of time,
erases away the sheen,
I will be there for you now and forever,
Awed as ever, in admiration,
For your beauty is ageless and divine.
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Being in Love

Life looks so Beautiful,
For there is always that glance to look forward to!

For there is a breathless happiness fizzing within.
Just about to drenched my being to its deepest depth.

A blissful bounce always there is in my heart,
Ready to take on the deepest despair of life in its elegant stride!

Even the most hopeless and barren path,

Appears to be a rose strewn path to paradise.

The parched soul breathes with careless bliss,
Being quenched by the nectar of that beautiful thought of yours!

My being learns to sing once again,
The tunes of long long forgotten mirth!

Deeper than the magic of the Merlin,
Those most beautiful eyes cast their magic spell!

Like a lost poet, in ecstatic trance,
I keep loitering down the pasture of fantasy!

Now, all the stars, the moon and the beauteous nature,
The limitless sky, the all powerful Sun,

All have lost their sheen,
Facing of your defenseless charm!

The roar of tumultuous ocean,
Is not audible anymore!

For deafened am I,
With the loud beat of the gasping heart!

Just a glance of yours,
Twitches the heart from within!

And that gracious smile,
Vanishes away all life's toil!

Your divine and voluptuous presence,
Creeps in a new desire to weave a new poem every breath!

With ever stronger fervor,
Embellished with  renewed ardor!

Much more than the joy of the union with God,
Is the bliss of the awareness of sharing a world with you!

May you be blessed forever,

Glittering as a crowning glory!

Teaching to the mortals,
What it is meant by a Divine Beauty!

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The Creative Mind

Following is an excerpt from the book - Five Minds of the Future - by Howard Gardner. This passage describes a creative individual is as per Gardner -

The creator stands out in terms of temperament, personality, and stance. She is perennially dissatisfied with the current work, current standards, current questions, current answers. She strikes out in unfamiliar directions and enjoys  - or at least accepts - being different from the pack. When an anomaly arises (an unfamiliar musical chord, an unexpected experimental result, a spike or dip in the sale of  goods in unfamiliar territory), she does not shrink from that unexpected wrinkle: indeed she wants to understand it and to determine whether it constitute a trivial error, an unrepeatable fluke, or an important but hitherto unknown truth. She is touch skinned and robust. There is a reason why so many famous creators hated or dropped out from school - they did not like marching to someone else's tune (and, in turn, the authorities disliked their idiosyncratic marching patterns).

All of us fail, and - because they are bold and ambitious - creators fail the most frequently and, often, the most dramatically. Only a person who is willing to pick herself up, and "try and try again" is likely to forge creative achievements. And even when an achievement has been endorsed by the "Field", the prototypical creator rarely rests on her laurels; instead, she proceeds along a new, untested path, fully ready to risk failure time and  again in return for the opportunity to make another, different mark.

Creative activity harbors more than its share of heartaches; but "FLOW" that it accompanies a fresh insight, a breakthrough work, or a genuine invention can be addictive...
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Happy Birthday to Manisha - my darling - my wife - my better-half

Dedicated to my wife on her Birthday - 15th December 2010
===========================================

Celebrating your priceless existence in my life
On this very special day
Beautifying my being,
With the fragrance of your love,
You are a more than a divine blessing
To me!

Its is nice to be together
walking the path of life
learning from each other and the world
Evolving to be better and more beautiful
Nice to grow old with you!

Thank you for the faith
Thank you for the care
You always had for me,
Right from when I was naive and raw.

Today having spent so many years
In this life,
Without you I know
Things would never had been
Such beautiful and picturesque.

Thank you for bringing even more happiness
With the most beautiful daughter ever born.
Thank you the pain
you have always taken to bring smile in my life!

No one knows me in this world,
as true as you,
With my follies, and inadequacies,
But still you were always there for me,
In thick and thin,
Filled with love and understanding,
Dear love you are such a sweet heart!

I know no words can express
My deep love and gratitude
For being so special to me,
Dear love!
Just I pray to God,
That in this life,
I am able to always keep you happy,
Showering you with
what you love and like!

God Bless You!

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Being relevant - nurturing a discipline mind

In his world famous treatise - "The Five Minds of the Future", Howard Gardner  beautifully demystifies what he terms as "The disciplined mind". He emphasizes the need of humans to focus on the development of their cognitive ability in thinking through an issue as a specialist. He states that just acquiring, and remembering plethora of information and symbol system does not necessary makes one relevant in a domain. The need is about being able to apply the know-how of the symbol system, to think in a particular fashion, in order to solve a contemporary problem. There is a need of setting up what Howard Gardner terms "performance of understanding". Once the key information pertaining to a particular domain is mastered it is of utmost important for the scholar to perform his understanding of the symbol system into an unknown and a new scenario. Students and professionals need to be forced to stretch or flex their knowledge obtained by reading books, and attending lectures. Without this there is a possibility of facing the uncomfortable possibility that factual knowledge may have increased without a correlative increase in disciplinary sophistication.
Most of the education is focussed on the mastery of information. It is equally important to nurture a way of thinking in the students and professionals which can enable them to solve an unknown problem using the repertoire of the knowledge gained.
To be able to discipline the mind, it is required to attack the domain in consideration through "multiple entry points". Each of these entry points points to various multiple intelligences a human posses. Such an approach demonstrates what a genuine understanding is like. One cannot be disciplined without such a conceptual agility.
The absence of disciplinary thinking as discussed above, leads a person to be in a state where she forgoes her opportunity to benefit from the genuine progress achieved by learned individuals in the past few thousands years. The undisciplined mind is stranded in the same intellectual levels as the barbarians. They will not be able to have informed opinions of the events of the day, the year and the century. They feel alienated and stupid - or, equally bad they feel resentment, even  hatred, vis-a-vis those who do seem to be able to perform their understandings in a disciplined manner.
Many people assert that it is what the experience which counts, and the theoretical scholarly pursuits are alienated from any real worth in the every day life. I firmly disagree with these opinions. It is of utmost importance to know and learn the latest knowledge base which is currently available. Without the knowledge base we basically march back to pre-historic age. The content is required. But the point here is that this content has to be complemented with a meaningful context, woven with a disciplined mind.
Having said this, Gardner goes further to table an important observation about a disciplined mind. He says, ""..Like most salient experiences of life (from orgasm to philanthropy), its achievement breeds desire for more. Once once has understood well a particular play, a particular war, a particular physical or biological or managerial concept, the appetite has been whetted for additional and deeper understanding. and for clear cut performances in which one's understanding can be demonstrated to others and oneself. Indeed the genuine understander is unlikely in the future to accept only superficial understanding. Rather having eaten from the tree of understanding, he or she is likely to return there repeatedly for ever more satisfying intellectual nourishment."
This sense of joy being derived from a scholarly pursuit helps the person to become passionate in the process of learning. The same applies to professionals. This push to become more and more aware, and make a meaningful difference, guides the professional who thus venture into exotic locales and attend institutes, giving up the opportunity to ski, snorkel, or play hooky, or go for a holiday trip.
As Plato remarked so many years ago, "Through education we need to help students find pleasure in what they have to learn".

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Being fully Human

Strange as it may seem,life becomes serene and enjoyable precisely when selfish pleasure and personal success are no longer the guiding goals.When self loses itself in a transcendent purpose, it becomes largely invulnerable to the fears and setbacks of ordinary existence.Psychic energy becomes focused on goals that are meaningful,that advance order and complexity, that will continue to have an effect in the consciousness of new generations long after our departure from this world, even after we are long forgotten.
- Csikszentmihalyi Mihaly

So very aptly and forcefully articulated by Prof Csikszentmihalyi, a fulfilled and happy life is about losing ego totally towards a purpose which is meaningful. A purpose which reduces entropy, and advances the evolution of mankind.
Extrapolating this noble thought into interpersonal relationships and the daily chores of our lives, it makes me think how most among us live fixated in an in-correct premise. Most of the times we lead a self-centered life. We have an un-conscious superstition, ingrained in our genes, is that we are the center of the universe, i.e. whatever happens in the planet, we try to link it to ourselves, and they we are getting impacted.

I was reading Helen Fisher the other day, and she reflects that when we say, "I love you", we actually mean, "do you love me?". It is so much customary to hear such remarks from our well intentioned  brethren, "Don`t spend your time and energy on her. She is just not worth you", "When I needed them, no one was there", "What is there in it for me", "She used me", "The company does not care for me"etc. Most often we perceive our relationships with people, places, organizations, etc as treaties. I am entitled to do certain things, only when I get certain other things in return.
Our lives most of the times are guided by an inexorable urge to expect something in return. We would not even smile at a person, if that person does not return it to us in same grace.

Going by the lines of Darwin, it appears customary that such a response is normal, and is hard wired in humans and all other living organisms, needed very much for their survival. Darwin goes even further to attribute beauty and aesthetics to drive to reproduce.

I beg to differ from Darwin in today's age. Darwinian theory might be apt for most of the species inhabiting this planet. But in today's era, I believe humans have transcended such a simplistic model. I feel the brain is capable to evolve to a place where expectations are non-existent. It is possible for a human to stand for a purpose, a story, a value, a love, a believe, or whatever which gives her a meaning for existence, and she enjoys being in that state. For her what she gets back in return is irrelevant.

For example a human might be in pure and profound love with another human, but really does not expect anything from her. It might be irrelevant whether the other person is good, or worth, or even loves her back. This is a state of human defiance of the needs of our genes. This is a place where a human differentiates itself from other species in the ecosystem.
A person might be so much in love with her work, that she does not care whether she is taken care by the company she belongs to. She derives her pleasure from the work.

Here I am not stating humans to be in in-sensitive and hopeless state where there is no urge left to get any enjoyment. I am just proposing here that humans have achieved that stage of evolution, where they can be in a state where their personal needs become irrelevant. Those needs might remain, and it might be good if they are gratified. But that they become irrelevant while leading ones life.
This idea can be illustrated in the fact when a person says the following - "I love her, although I know she hates me. It is actually irrelevant she loves me or not. It is that I feel so happy being in love for her". Or when a person says about his work, "When I am in the shop floor, I am just one with the work. I forget my existence. I dont realize the passing of time. Even I am absent to the fact that I am hungry".

Such disappearance of ones self, and being one with a goal - an action - a work, a way of being, which the person likes, and is also good at, had been termed differently by different authors. Some call it, "being in your elements". Some say you are in "FLOW". Some say you are "one with your intension". Some say you are "one with universal consciousness".

Such a state of defiance of conditionality at every aspect of ones existence raises a person to a vantage point of absolute freedom. A place of being, where the person is not dependent on any circumstance, any person or any organization to derive her happiness and fulfillment. Being in a state of independence from any expectation, a person is not attached and constrained by just one way of unfolding of things. Rather the person is open to any possibility. This enables a person to have more courage to try out novel endeavors which inspires her, and moves her.

To summarize my thoughts, I would like to put them the following points  -
1. It is important to discover what a person really likes - Something which the person is at the top of the world doing it. Prof. Csikszentmihalyi call this identification of a domain
2. It is important for the person to pursue her love for the selected domain, and gradually increase the "complexity" of he consciousness pertaining to the chosen domain.
3. Having a goal bigger than life, which aims at the domain and impacting the humanity as a whole by working in the domain. It is about creating a story which is bigger than ones life, which shapes the person's passion for the domain to enhancing the domain itself, and thus enabling the humanity to achieve something which it was not present to.
4. Always being in a state of a giver, and not a taker.
5. Enjoy life's every small gift. Using the trivial chores of everyday life as a vehicle to make a difference, learn something new, love more, care more, understand and appreciate.
6. Be free, open, loving, caring, and responsible.
7. In interpersonal relationship always remember that when you love someone, it does not necessarily mean that the other person will also love you. This expectation from the other person is actually irrelevant, and totally out of place. Love begins and ends within. Dr. Wayne Dyer has put this thought very beautifully in the following words -
"Love" is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you.
8. Always invest enough psychic energy to de-mystify one's own self to be able to know what is that one really love doing - something that comes naturally to the person.
9.Knowing that life is short, and it can abruptly end any day, any moment. So, live life fully, doing what you love to do, loving as much as you can, and enjoy life's simple moments.
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Being Responsible - A disciplined mind

As proposed by Viktor Frankle and many other psychologists, the most optimal way of being is to be responsible in one's thoughts, and action.
But, "being responsible" is something which is role-based.
What is being responsible for a person being in the role of a friend, might be something very different when the person operates being in the role of a boss in a typical corporate setting.
A human in its constant dynamic state of changing roles from one to other, must eradicate the way of beings which are not appropriate in one role, and gradually consolidate a mode of behavior that is appropriate for the new role.
This ability to think in a particular way based on what is currently functionally needed, is termed as having a "disciplined mind" by Howard Gardner.
For an optimum functioning of an institution, its members should keep graduating to different thinking hats based on what is needed by the current role the person is playing.

Here are some illustrations as described by Howard Gardner, where humans fail to graduate to a new behavior as demanded by the new role (un-disciplined minds). This inability of disciplining the mind leads to the person as being irresponsible -
1. Beginning law students, for example, insist on reaching a decision that is morally satisfying; this long-engrained way of thinking clashes with their teachers' insistence that decisions must be based on precedent and on process, and not on one's personal moral code.

2. Rookie journalists prepare a coherent, well rounded story, as if they were trying to hold the interest of a captive audience. They are unable to think backward, writing a story in such a way that it will immediately command the reader's attention while also surviving the blue pencil of the editor or the sever space limitations of the new front page layout.

3. The worker who has just been appointed to a managerial position attempts to retain earlier friendships as if nothing had changed; she does not understand that her new job requires that she listen, be listened to , and be respected, rather than that she win a contest of popularity or continue to exchange gossip or intimacies with former peers. The new board member fails to understand that he must now behave in disinterested manner vis-a-vis the very CEO or president who courted her for months and then invited her to join a select, prestigious group.

The point here is not just about being context specific, and act as per context. But having a disciplined mind calls for something even more profound. It is about using the mental faculty to apply already learnt concepts from different contexts, and use them optimally to achieve a given result in a new context. According to Howard Gardner, "It is about attempting to elucidate a discovery or phenomenon with which a person is not familiar but which lends itself to explanation in terms of a concept or theory that has been already studied."

In today's workplace as well as in the academics, there is a dire need of having a disciplined mind. I agree with Howard Gardner in which he boldly states that the survival of mankind in the coming ages depends among others, how well we can discipline our mind.

It is not that simple to discipline one's mind. Howard Gardner says, "My formal discipline is psychology, and it took me a decade to think like a psychologist". He further says, "Today when I encounter a controversy about the human mind or human behavior, I think immediately about how to study the issue empirically, what control group to marshal, how to analyze the data and revise my hypotheses when necessary".
To be able to discipline one's mind, one needs to be thoroughly trained in a specific domain, and it requires immense "deliberate practice" (as proposed by Geoff Colvin).
Hence all of us - scholars, corporate leaders, professionals - must continually hone our skills.
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The real wealth of Life!

Not through riches,
nor with trophies, or successes
Does the real wealth come.

No matter what you have,
No matter how much you hoard,
No matter how much you get,
The real wealth always eludes!

Neither a material receipt,
Nor a love returned,
Or a kind reciprocation,
Is the real wealth!

The real wealth appears,
All within,
Glittering ones existence,
With an eternal never ending fire!
Only when one loves, experiences, and expresses!

The real wealth alights,
With a true friend earned,
With a heart touched,
With a tear wiped,
Being a reason for a smile,
Being the tickle for a laughter,
Being someone to influence a soul,
Changing it for better...forever!

The real wealth is in falling in love,
Being in the trance of
That profound and unconditional Love!
For Love is a state of being,
That brings divinity to reality!

The real wealth is in experiencing,
That bliss of kinship,
The warmth of empathy,
The excitement of Love!
Expanding every day,
With deepening of a relationship,
With discovering a new bond!
With seeing a new world through a new idea,
Giving a new meaning to life!
With a new challenge to overcome,
Being enchanted by a new place,
Being awestruck by a new landscape,
Dancing with the beats of a new music!

The real wealth is hidden in small things,
The daily chores of the day!
Just what is needed is
To Give, Love, Care, Experience and Express!
And Life's all riches are yours.
Which is death to hide!
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A Reason to be Alive!

The space graced by you,
Becomes a clearing for Happiness all around,
With laughter straight from the heavens,
Drenches mortals around,
With the honey dew of bliss.

Through your glance,
Comes the stream
Of cool breeze of solace.

Your voice around,
Inspires the bud to sprout out!

Your passing fragrance
Creates the innocent urge
To live and love again..
Till Eternity.

You are an oasis of happiness,
Ever brimming with the
Beauty profound!
Just your presence,
In person or in thoughts,
Is a reason
Enough to be alive!
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Those Beautiful Eyes

The most beautiful eyes..

Never had imagined that a picture perfect stroke of brush,
might be so real!
Brought into life,
Expressing the profound bliss!

Over brims with the depth
Of Gods own presence!
Flows out the beautiful soul of yours,
Conditioned by those poetic lashes.

Eyes of yours -
No less than the luscious music
From the harp of Venus herself!
Bathes the world around
With the symphony of joy!

For blessed am I for the privilege of touch of the vision,
Through those divine
Expressing every moment,
The presence of God herself!

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The Lady with the Most Beautiful Eyes

Being at the top of the world
I celebrate with utmost glee!
For have I discovered the nature's
Utmost novel creation!
Grateful am I to the grace conferred!
For I am gifted to have the glimpse
The Lady with the Most Beautiful Eyes!
And the most beautiful soul!

For her mere presence makes
My world shine
Her casual glance makes
My heart sings.
The fragrance of her being
Brings divine novelty
In my world!
For the sweet voice she has,
Like the nightingale singing,
Rejuvenates every living soul,
With a rhythm exotic!

Her bonhomie countenance
Fills in every heart
A new hope,
A new happiness,
A new Bliss!
For her smile is like
God's own kiss!

The intoxicating touch she has,
Can make a sage gasping for breath.
Like the gentle breeze
It even soothes the tired traveler!

Just wanted to thank you O Lord!
For visiting me every day,
Through her amorous presence!

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The deep bond

The deepest of all bonds,
Do I share with you.
A bond that is alive,
Ever stronger,
Ever young!

The bond of the separatedness,
That indifference,
The thick connection
Of emptiness between us,
Holds me ever connected with you!

Your lost love,
Your indifference,
Your disgust,
Your hatred,
All holds me
Ever held connected
With bond
Which was never stronger
Nourished by the passing years!

Happy am I,
As the expanse of the
Warm earth connects me to you!
Always there is the same air
We both breathe!
The planet is the same
Which we inhabit!
Working, playing, and living,
In this shared world of ours,
In thank the almighty
For this ageless and unchangeable
Love and it's divine bliss!


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Remembering you

The lyrics of the song,
The caress of the breeze,
The stillness of the moment,
The emptiness of the heart,
The eagerness of the eye,
All have teamed up remembering you!

For the beautiful remembrance is what 
That keeps me entwined with you.
A bond so profound,
Death only can drown.
There is no fear to lose you! 
For it was a remote past 
When you left me!
Years have past by,
New ages have drawn on.
But have even a note waned
In the symphony of my love for you?

Being fastened forever with 
Your remembrance,
This soul will cover its remaining journey.
With that next to impossible hope
That it will part this body,
Breathing the last breath 
In your arms. 
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All About Love

One of the most profound books I have ever read on the subject of love is - "Why we Love" by the world famous anthropologist - Helen Fisher. This book is a must read for all who wants to delve deep into love and its nature. Following is a small note on the entire book. I have deliberately omitted mention of some informative sections which focus on how humans evolved since last 2 million years, and how romantic love also undertook is journey from an animal mating instinct to the primordial force behind most inspiring of human creations. In the note below I have focused on the love of the current era, and they way it manifests in our everyday life.

BEING IN LOVE

Perhaps the most intense, original, all-overriding and euphoric of all emotions humans have experienced in the past 2 million years of evolution is romantic love. Neurologists say that romantic love manifest due to the dances of the electrical signals in various regions of the brain, which are mainly associated with Lust, Attachment and Romance. The mosaic of these various neuron signals result due to the interplay of certain specific hormones in the body - both in the brain, and other parts of the body.

A person in love feels light. Often she says that there is a bounce in her feet. She is perennially happy. The beloved develops a special meaning for her. She misses him. Before relationship grows into romantic love, you may feel attracted to several different individuals, addressing your attention to one, then another. But eventually you begin to concentrate your attention on just one.

The love possessed person focuses almost all of his or her attention on the beloved, often to the detriment of everything and everyone around them, including work, family and friends.

The infatuated person also begins to magnify, even aggrandize tiny aspects of the adored one. If pressed, almost all lovers can list the things they do not like about their amor. But they cast these perceptions aside or persuade themselves that these defects are unique and charming.

Loss of appetite and sleeplessness are directly related to another of love's overwhelming sensations: tremendous energy. There is overwhelming need of emotional union between the lovers.

Lovers also become dependent on the relationship, very dependent.

Adversity often feeds the flame. Social or physical barriers kindle romantic passion. They enable one to discarded the facts and focus on the terrific qualities of the other. Even arguments or temporary breakups can be stimulating.

Although Freud and many other scholars maintained that sexual desire is a central component of romantic love, the desire for sexual intercourse and cravings for sexual fidelity are less important to the lover than the longing for emotional union with the beloved.

CHEMISTRY OF LOVE

Dopamine - A hormone - dopamine is the source of the feeling of focused attention towards the beloved, and the sense of attachment to the beloved. As dopamine increases in the brain, it often drives up levels of testosterone - both in men and women - the hormone for sexual desire.

Norepinephrine - A chemical derived from dopamine, may also contribute to the lover's high. Increase in the levels of Norepinephrine generally produces exhilaration, excessive energy, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite - some of the basic characteristics of romantic love.

Serotonin - The feeling of euphoria, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite, as well as the lover’s intense energy, focused attention, driving motivation, and goal - oriented behaviors, his/her tendency to regard the beloved as novel, and unique, and the lover's increased passion in the face of adversity might all be caused, in part, by heightened levels of dopamine and/or Norepinephrine in the brain.

And the lover’s obsessive cogitation about the beloved might be due to decreased brain levels of some type of serotonin.

WEB OF LOVE - Lust, Romance and Attachment -

These are three most powerful feelings associated with love. All these are independent of each other and are starkly distinct. A human is capable of feeling lust for one person, romance for another and attachment for someone else, all at the same time.

The independence of these emotions evolved among our ancestors to enable men and women to maintain several relationships at once. But this brain circuitry has created tremendous turmoil today - contributing to our worldwide patterns of adultery and divorce, the high incidence of sexual jealousy, stalking, and spousal battering, and prevalence of homicide, suicide, and clinical depression associated with spurned passion.

Taking control of passion - Making Romance Last - 

The idea is to keep the level of dopamine high in the beloved. This fuels the attachment, and deepens romantic love. This is done by introducing novelty, newness, adventure in everyday life. Sense of humor is based on novelty. Also deliberately bringing the element of the unexpected elevates levels of dopamine in brain.

Sex associated with novelty, creativity and emotional union, flares up the production of testosterone and dopamine, leading to the wellbeing of the partners.

Following are the must DOs to be able to sustain a beautiful romantic relationship -

1. Commit

2. Listen actively to your partner

3. Ask questions.

4. Give answers.

5. Appreciate

6. Stay attractive

7. Keep growing intellectually. INCLUDE YOUR PARTNER

8. Give her privacy

9. Be honest and trustworthy

10. Tell your mate what you need

11. Accept his/her shortcomings

12. Mind your manners.

13. Exercise your sense of humor

14. Respect her

15. Compromise

16. Argue constructively.

17. Never threaten to depart

18. Forget the past

19. Say NO to adultery

20. Do not assume the relationship will last forever. Build it one day at a time.

21. NEVER GIVE UP

22. Let there be spaces in your togetherness. Being away for a month of couple of months every year is a good idea.

23. Develop an array of common interests and make a point of doing novel and executing things together.

24. VARIETY, VARIETY AND VARIETY - This stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain, maintaining the climate of romance.

POLYAMORY - Being in love with more than one person at a time. 

Due to the independence of the circuitry of the brain centers of lust, attachment and love, there is a propensity of people in this age to enter into love with more than one person. This is known as Polyamory.

Polyamory is utopian - and impractical. Fundamentally humans are jealous beings. Romantic love is interwoven in a host of other motivations/emotion circuits in the brain including the other primary mating drives - lust and male-female attachment.

Although the 3 primary mating drives - lust, attachment and romantic love operate independently, human kind does not share love gracefully. We are basically jealous people. Not surprisingly polyamorous couples spend many hours every week sorting out their feelings of possessiveness and jealousy.

Overall love is a powerful emotion. It is a fire which can give warmth and wellbeing, and at the same time can burn the castle, if handled irresponsibly. The silver lining in human brain is that, humans can chose to use the pre-frontal cortex of human brain (the center of reason) and the "Amygdala" (center of brain for emotion) to use this powerful emotion to create an optimal existence of well-being.

Some interesting talks by Helen Fisher in ted.com on the similar topics - 

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love.html

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The Profound Love

I thought, I love you!
But then I realized
My love is just too profound
to be captivated by
love of a physical form,
labeled with your name.

For my heart throbs for
That beautiful vision,
Creating that beautiful possibility,
with an idea directing the human development
To a world better than today!

I am infatuated by a dream!
A dream in which humanity is
guided by knowledge of reason
and erudition!
A world which has no place
for superstition and prejudices.
A place where each human
has an open mind,
Forever beautifying itself
reading a good book,
discussing a beautiful vision,
exploring the unknown,
loving and caring more
talking less, listening more.
Expanding oneself to the horizon new!
And thus, each day adding to the
beauty of the profound life!

I am in love with that Non-form!
That divine inspiration
guiding the human thoughts
To create a better world!

I am a soldier of God.
Living for me, is a continuous
Exploration of the unknown.
A never ending toil,
To create something new and meaningful.
A race towards perfection,
A regimen of deliberate practice
To hone a new skill and talent,
With only one vision always at the helm!
How to contribute more and wide!
How to touch much more souls,
In ways bigger and better!

I am the channel of Human Excellence,
I am lovelorn with that
Human Potential which is hidden
and is craving to take its shape,
Thus increasing the awe of creation!

I am in love,
In love with that throbbing power,
Transcending through all human
dreams and visions,
Grand and noble missions,
Directing the destiny of the creation.

The orgasm of my love
Cannot be tamed by a fragile and mortal physical form!
For it can be put to rest,
That formless inspiration
of that world class human excellence!
Living every moment with meaningful actions,
Visionary thoughts, and creative expressions.
Thus decorating my existence and nature's
with contributions creating a difference.
With ways new and noble,
Every moment and every hour!
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Evolving Inside Out - Preferring exocentricity over endocentricity

In the field of human psychology this is my attempt to bring out an analogy with the world of computer user interface design. At least in the case of naming two different way of being. I term these two states of being as "Exocentricity" and "Endocentricity".

Let me explain both these terms in details - 

Exocentricity - I use this term to define a state of being in which a person has transcended her self importance. The person relates to her existence based on what her contribution to the external world is. Life is nothing but a sequence of actions that she is taking, the thoughts she is having, and beauty she is creating, all focussed on others. This is a state in which the only thing that comes to ones mind is what way one can be used up, from morning to night in doing something worthwhile.

It might be moments spent playing with a kid (in order to contribute to the kid's psyche), or

writing a poem to express a beautiful emotion, thereby increasing the overall beauty of the creation, or painting or sculpturing a beautiful piece of art to substantiate an intangible beauty in the mind, or doing every day chores to earn a living, or pursuing a field of proficiency, etc.

It can be anything. The common theme transgressing all these examples is that there is no self importance involved. None of these works are done for ones own self. A person finds an intrinsic satisfaction in being of some use to others in a way she feels does matter.

The actions taken might be something the person enjoys doing, or might be something that she abhors. But she continues to be perfect in her action because she has a meaning attached to her action. She feels her action is adding to the overall beauty of the creation.

In this state of being the person sees herself as a inconspicuous but significant part of the overall creation. For her, life is an impersonal process which is governed by external laws of nature. 

She is like a small bead among many such beads in a rosary. She does what she can, given her circumstances, with just one aim - doing best what she can. There is only one motivation to do things - To contribute to the beauty of the rosary. Her actions, thoughts and motivations might be to add to the beauty of the other beads by sprinkling some new combination of colors, or to strengthen the string holding the beads, or to intensify or modulate the light falling on to the garland to make the scene more beautiful, or to add a refreshing fragrance to the garland to create a novelty, etc.

In this analogy it might be clear to you that what keeps the bead in discussion going is just a meaning it has created for itself, which centers around caring for others outside its own self. There is a constant selfish motivation of being used up to the fullest, contributing to something that is meaningful. For the bead, her life is a beautiful story of innumerable attempts to create value for others, and therefore contribute to the life itself. The bead is always in the pursuit of something bigger than her own life.

Being in this state, a person happily can undergo years of captivity of a concentration camp, if she feels that her experiences in the trenches are helping her to further her research in say human psyche. A person will happily slog for 12 hours every day of the work week, and also not think twice before spending even her weekends in office. She will never be tired of her work, and there will be no need of any rest or relaxation. The person will be continuously motivated to give her best, because she knows she is adding up to the beauty of the world with her work. She will have a very high esteem of what she is doing. She will be in FLOW. The whole idea is how to be fully used up, in doing something bigger than one's life.

Same stands for a home maker. She stays at home, does what all which might otherwise look mundane to say a business tycoon. She takes care of her child, does the home chores, etc. She has a meaning she is living upto - being used up completely creating beauty in this world by raising a child who will be a good human being, and at the same time taking care of her family's wellbeing. She is always in FLOW.

Such a state of being is a result of relating the world using the right brain. The state which has been esoterically defined by phrases like - "I am that", "Tat tuam asi", "Aham Brahmasmi" of the Eastern Hindu scriptures.

Another beautiful aspect of this state of being is that the person keeps becoming more and more expert in the work at hand. She increases her uniqueness, and her overall worth, not only to herself, but to the community as a whole. Every states of FLOW she enters, she evolves to a self better than she used to be earlier.

This state of being is free from fear, doubt, shame, guilt, stress, or any such debilitating human emotion. Life is a continuous shower of blessing, no matter how dire her life circumstances appear to others.

Endocentricity - In this state of being the left brain tries to maintain one's self importance, and treats oneself as center of the universe. This state of being creates emotions like hatred, hurt, jealousy, envy, fear etc. All such negative emotions arise from the sense of being centered internally, inside one`s own mind. In this state there is a past, a present and a future. Language, calculations, gain, loss, self interests etc are always at play. One is fully identified by her designation at work, her possessions, her status in society, etc. One is always different from others. Life is always I, we and they. It is always about what is mine, and what is theirs.

Some people just wait to be hurt. Anything and everything hurt them. Some people are waiting to hurt others. Everyday of their life is all about establishing their supremacy over others. Life for such people is like a race, and a cut throat competition. 

There are aspects of exocentricity (right brain governed) and endocentricity (left brain governed) prevalent in every human being. The degree to which these two states of being are at play, govern ones consciousness, and gives one her personality, and quality of life.

As soon as we are able to jump out of the dungeon of the endocentrism, we find ourselves as a link, as a means, as a part of the a whole. We find ourself as a means to play our role in making the entire system more beautiful. In this state, the self is un-important. We start living for others. The world becomes one family, and every other human becomes ones own loving sibling.

The state of exocentrism has been propagated by all the major religions since ages. Now even the medical practitioners and psychologists have found after years of world wide research that an exocentric attitude not only beautifies the world, but also enhances the quality of ones own personal life - the life span increases, and the person is in the state of high energy and bliss for a large proportion of her existence in this world.

These thoughts came to my mind after having read many books on positive psychology and working of right brain. The deepest impact on me was having read and reflected the concept of FLOW explained in many books of Csikszentmihaly Mihaly and watching the jaw dropping talk by the world famous brain scientist - Jill Bolte Taylor. 

Following is the link to the video, in case you want to watch it - http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229

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Copy Right © All rights reserved - Samrat Kar

Why people hate others?

When we see some not like us,
When we do not understand someone,
When we listen to something
We do not generally speak,
When we confront a way of life,
Of some others which is not like us.
No second we waste, only to hate!


Very quick are we to generalize.
One, two and three experience,
And there goes a solid, sharp
Permanent a judgment!
Always busy are we
Defining how different we are from them!
Always there is an I and they,
The mind is busy labeling and hating!


We always know we are the one
Who is right, and they are the one who is wrong!
This is the righteousness,
We are ready to die for.
Never we think twice before
Sacrificing our peace to this
Commotion of disconnect.


With poison in heart,
We poison everything around.
People, places, things nothing to spare!
We do not even spare
That innocent land,
That vast sky and the beautiful trees!
And most we hate,
Those highest creations of God,
For whom God himself is so proud!


Beautiful both in heart and soul,
Are the people whom we paint bad,
With the black ink
Of our prejudices, and perceptions.


Do not we think even twice,
Before generalizing our wrath,
For couple of sad experiences,
We term the whole world dark!


Having formed a belief,
A prejudice and a superstition,
We live till we die,
Continuously watering our hatred,
Distorting the beauty of Life!


But yes, God does not cry!
For he does bad to himself,
Who hates others.
For nothing but is blessed
Who is hated and mocked.


Hatred is Darkness,
Deep and Thick!
Only the light of love,
Can cut it quick!


For Love is not just an emotion!
It is a torch of Blessing
Cutting through the darkness
Enabling us to see the Truth!
Being in love is like being awake!
Far away from the slumber of
Fatal perceptions.


Cut through hatred,
Clear up the fog,
For the sunny clear day awaits,
Brimming with love and joy!
It is a personal choice,
To love or to hate.
I choose the former,
Defying what appears true!
For I know there is something
More important than truth.
It is being in love,
From the depths of a caring heart,
No matter what!

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Copy Right © All rights reserved - Samrat Kar

Call for a personal Freedom this 15th

The nation was freed 63 years ago.

Good! It has prospered well,

Young and powerful it is running its race!

But am I free in real sense?

Am I not imprisoned

With the biases of narrow mind?

With the age old superstitions,

Have I not lost the way?

Being too much involved in

Rites and rituals,

Has not God really lost 

Its real meaning?

Is not that the basis of our being spiritual

Is deep seated in fear of heavenly wrath,

Or an obnoxious lust for that invisible cosmic power?

Is not the way I work,

Is just another imprisonment

Of necessities that I am forced to do

To earn a living?

Is not my love 

Captivated with the 

Un-breakable and cold iron shackles

Of social norms?

Is not the way I live,

Is a compulsive disorder,

Being programmed blindly

To be always in search of pleasure?

Am I not chained to the 

The endless race of materialism?

And then am I not constrained

With ideologies to explain my inconsistencies?

Is not life hijacked by 

The waxing and waning of hormones,

And genetic urges?

Are not my thoughts

Limited to the distance

My social conditioning can take me?

Are not my dreams

Dampened with the forces

Of what others judge me of?

Am I not captivated still,

With that urge to be loved back,

Once I love someone?

Is not every act of kindness

Has just reduced to 

A give and take transaction?

Are not my thoughts of 

Compassion and care,

Limited to just a few around me?

Have not human conscience surrendered 

Itself to the myopic concerns?

Has not even Business Management

Lost its freedom as a "liberal art",

To a way to just churn out money?

Has not the gap between

The Ivory Tower of academia

And the grass-root real world

Widened like never before?

Has not the pen has really

Given up to the sword?

Have we not relinquished 

The freedom to carve out

A meaning for our life?

Volunteering for 

Square boring ways?

Have we not really lost the 

Freedom to take risk,

And make a dent in the universe?

Are not our opinions,

Shallow and ill-informed?

Have we not always 

preferred to read the Twilight series,

Instead of a thought provoking article

In the Nature magazine?

Lost have we our freedom

Of being a human!

Lost have we our take 

On the deciding how humanity evolves!

Yet again, here is a call

For a freedom anew.

A freedom of self!

Wake up!

Give up the small

For the Infinite!

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Copy Right © All rights reserved - Samrat Kar

This is Subhas speaking...

Why shall I beg for my own right?
Why shall I not hit back against exploitation?
For it is much more than
A feud between an imperialist and a colony.
It is about my own motherland!
How can I be passive?
Watching her being molested?


Yes, I am alone.
But is not that expected for a rebel?
I do not believe what
Almost everyone believes today.
Non-violence is noble.
But it can never make us free.
These exploiters have to be
Thrashed out of my motherland.
They are thick skinned.
No good for a noble pleading.


I do not have the Congress
To support,
Neither I have villages after villages
Backing me.
With a small faction of dozen rebels,
I have marched towards defeating
The British Raj!


Looks unpredictable.
But I know it is possible.
For seeing the acorn seed,
Who could predict the giant oak tree?
I declare it to be possible,
And so it shall be.
I know I am right,
And God is by my side.


I will form my army,
I will sail out 7 seas,
I will turn the world around,
But I will make it happen!
For in my life time I shall
See my mother free!


It pains me
For centuries together,
We never had the guts,
Never the passion,
To stand united for our motherland!
Too narrow had we been,
Imprisoned in the cocoon of
Our own small life.
Never had we thought
The world out of that gate of our homes!


Enough is enough!
No more shall I allow
India to be slithering on the floor
In double standards of peace and non violence.
To clean the slimy dirt,
You need to apply force.


I shall not allow the
Sacrifices of thousands of young
Men and women,
I shall keep the fire on!
And burn the empire of the
British Raj!


No revolution was won
Begging for it.
All needed blood and sacrifice.
So, shall I bring out this?
Revolution anew,
You give me blood, I shall give you freedom!


I am no God,
Nor am I the Atlas,
I am no charmer,
With the entire country
Swarming behind me.
I don’t have the Gladiators,
Nor the arms and ammunitions.
Here I am all alone,
Set out to defeat the
Great Britain!!


Yes, I am nervous,
And I am apprehensive,
For know I not the future.
More than success I see
Failures all around.
But, I am sure of one thing,
Irrespective of what is my destiny,
I will be able to die free of any atonement!
For I shall try all that is possible,
Walking in the drum beats of my heart!
I shall not limit myself,
With constraints in my head.
I know I am already free,
Free at my mind,
Free at my heart!
Have I started on the errand,
To bring that Freedom
Out of my Heart,
To the valleys of my Motherland!


I am not a passive stone,
Borne to be smothered by
Some lesser mortals.
I am part of God,
The priceless gift of Creativity adorns me!
I am here to innovate,
To build,
To inspire,
To direct the storm
Of Human Potential
To create a renaissance of Prosperity in Freedom!


Today freedom is in its pure potential,
And there are these innumerous obstacles,
Both within and outside!
But then does not it make the task more interesting?
For the increased degree of challenge
Adds finesse to the work at hand!


I am happy that I have chosen,
To be used up nourishing that
Pure potential and parenting it out
To the sunshine of the real world!
For this creates meaning for my existence.
I am not a body, nor an identity,
I am not my possessions.
I am just an expression of nature,
Working towards evolving out
A bud to a flamboyant flower!
This is the invisible intention
Of the Cosmos that flows through me.
I am just a medium.


Yes, being a link between
That hidden divine potential,
To the solidity of the real world,
I have transgressed my fear of mortality,
I have transcended my weaknesses of
Being just a human.


I have chosen what gives meaning to my life,
I have a purpose to die for.
I am here to play my role
With heart and body, mind and soul.
Rest is all in the hand of
The random natural selection at work!


If nothing else,
I am sure,
Generations to come,
Will at least remember
Subhash Chandra Bose,
As a soul who tried his best
To repay his debt of being an Indian!

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Copy Right © All rights reserved - Samrat Kar