Of late I have come to realize that my life is just a means, and not end to itself. So is everything in my life, including myself. Let me explain.
My life comprises of the following major components –
1. My Persona –
The identity of mine, my personality, my personal ego, that aspect of my existence that I call as “I”, is just a means, and not an end to itself. It is a means to explore, learn, grow, make a positive difference to the community I belong, to make a meaningful contribution to the place I work, to create a safe, nurturing and warm ecosystem for my family, friends, and colleagues, to create a legacy that enables mankind to think, conceive and act better in some way or the other. I have earlier in some of my poems and essays, have termed this aspect of mine as being a “link”; a link between the problem and a possible inspiring and effective solution; a link between the higher self and lower baser emotions. Persona acts as a vehicle to implement the higher ideals, the divinity, in the world of form. It is a means, ofcourse!
Many a time I have a propensity to slip down to consider the persona as an end. This is exactly when I expect things for myself, or when the ego is at play, trying to establish its self importance. It also raises its ugly head when I tend not to understand others, and their perspective, when I hate someone, or envy or feel jealous of someone. Also the same thing is visible when I expect someone to behave in a particular way, and feel sad to find them behave totally contrary to the expectation. All these are various forms of holding the self importance – viewing my persona as an end. Certainly this brings an avalanche of sorrow and causes an immense leak of time and energy.
Hence I keep reminding myself that who I am, is just a means, and not an end. This gives me a lot of freedom, and lightness. It appears to me as a big baggage is out of my shoulder. I feel more in harmony with life.
2. My Family –
The same thing holds good in the context of my family. Family for me is a means to create a loving and nourishing ecosystem for growth, fulfillment and well being of all the people associated. It is an avenue to feel and provide that un-conditional care, affection, love and bond. It is the starting point for the bigger goal of universal love and compassion.
This perspective provides that space for things going against what I expect or would like to. There might be points of disconnect and discontents among family members. There might even be certain misunderstandings. But putting the context in place, things become easier to handle. The ego is kept at bay. Certainly this level of thinking is based and built over the point 1, explained above.
3. My Friends –
Friends for me are those few people in my life whom I like, without any judgment, or conditions. These people understand me for who I am. They know my follies, and shortcomings, but still love me. We get together and create things beautiful and creative. We converse together and stimulate each other intellectually. We are always available to each other whenever we need each other’s support. There certainly is an intersection between this group of people and the Family. For example my wife is my best friend, who knows me and understands me more than anyone in the world. Friends are, in my view, angels from heavens. They are the shadows of God, who help us to live life more optimally, for each other.
Now, coming to the means and ends. The moment you consider friends as an end, life becomes a prison. You get attached and possessive about the person. You have strict set of expectations from the other person. But the problem is that humans evolve. They change. And more importantly we are all different and unique. It is just not possible for any other human being to mould in the typical slot of my expectation. That attempt would be trying to fix a square peg in a round hole.
In his most openly philosophical work, “Civilization and its Discontents,” Freud maintained that our psyches are layered. As he explained it, much as Rome is built upon the ruins of past Romes, our emotions are stratified: what is past and below lives on and informs what is above, even if we refuse to acknowledge it. This law of the inner life also applies in telling ways to how we relate to so-called cold-facts. Given the pasts and social conditionings of all humans are different and unique, they tend to understand things differently. It is a lost game to expect people to behave in a particular way.
Psychologically every person has a very personal and unique way in looking at things in life. I have tried to explain the same in my previous essay - http://criativ-mind.blogspot.com/2011/08/no-every-man-is-island-entire-to.html
Given so many things so very unique, private and exclusive in each of us, it certainly is a lost game considering humans and relationships as “ends”. They should rather be considered as a dynamic means to express out what is inspiring and beautiful for one and his life.
Extrapolating the same context, the philosophy works even in romantic relationships. Moment the people involved consider the other as an end, the demise of the warmth in the relationship is eminent. Most the cases of divorce, heart breaks, and stresses involving romantic relationship is an inability in the part of the people involved in considering the relationship as a means, to a different end – an end to evolve, grow, learn, provide for each other, creating expressions of beauty and inspirations, support each other, help each other to express themselves differently, the way each wants. See, it is crucial to move the focus of the “end” away from the needs of the self, and consider the relationship as a means of self awareness, growth, and nourishing of the self and also the other. It is about providing that space to each other. Being able to do this is not a luxury. It is a necessity.
4. Institutions –
Institutions in my life include my work place, other institutions I attend to, either for pursuing a hobby, or for some other social activities. Each of these institutions is again a means for me to learn, grow, contribute and create a meaning for my life. It is about an effort to increase the relevance of my being alive.
Not considering these institutions as an end also involves not expecting anything from them, for my efforts give towards them. My actions in service of these institutions are whole and complete by themselves. They are not done in an expectation of any reward or recognition. This is because my actions are way to my wisdom. They help me grow, learn, and fulfill the meaning of my existence. These institutions provide a framework for my actions. The visions and missions these institutions stand for, give meaning to my life. These inspire me, so I am part of these institutions. They invoke certain actions from me, which makes me fulfilled.
The point is not just about fulfillment. It is also about providing an ecosystem to act. Action for me it the way to self realization. I have tried to explain this aspect of action in my essay - http://criativ-mind.blogspot.com/2011/10/musing-from-marcus-aurelius.html
5. My Emotions -
Emotions are earthly. They have evolutionary connotations. They are hardwired in our brains and body, and have their own finalities. Those finalities might not be the most optimum or inspiring. Emotions are the calls of the ancient genes we carry. They at most times are gross, and inappropriate at a particular contemporary situation.
Emotions should also be taken as a means, and not as an end. Emotions can be a beautiful means to express one’s true self. It can be a means to create a work of art, or an astounding scientific work. Emotions help us to bond with others, create communities, and play bigger games. Emotions enable us to leave a unique legacy behind, which leaves imprints of beauty when we are no more.
But, the moment emotions are taken as an “end”, problems arise. A self indulgent pursuit of hedonism neither helps the subject involved, nor the bigger community. Being a slave to emotions enslaves the persona to be puppetted by the selfish genes. In the long run that causes distress for humanity as a whole.
Emotions have to be transmuted, beautified, sanctified, and shaped to create works of art and inspirations. They cannot be mutilated. But certainly can be transmuted and transformed.
6. My Possessions –
I consider the worldly possessions I have, also as means, and not an end in themselves. For example owning a car, is not an end to itself. It is rather a means to safe, fast and comfortable travel from one place to other. A house is not an end to itself. Rather it is just a means to create a safe, secure and peaceful ecosystem for the family and friends.
This helps to create an un-attached perspective on one’s own possessions.
This idea of viewing life as a means and not as an end, to me, is a practical approach to an age old teachings of the scriptures of not being attached. Life and all its aspects are transient. They change. They are dynamic. Hindu philosophy names it as “Maya”. Buddhism calls it “Mara”. And other major schools of philosophies have their own labels to the same. Suffering is caused in the human world, when people get attached to illusion. All the aspects of life, including life itself is not permanent, and is destined to end in near future. It certainly is a lost game to be attached to the worldly matters, and considering them as an “end”. Having said that, I just want to clarify myself that I am not advocating austerity or solitude. It is just a reminder that all enchanting worldly matters are transient, and they need to be viewed as a “means” and not “ends”.
______________________________________________
My life comprises of the following major components –
1. My Persona –
The identity of mine, my personality, my personal ego, that aspect of my existence that I call as “I”, is just a means, and not an end to itself. It is a means to explore, learn, grow, make a positive difference to the community I belong, to make a meaningful contribution to the place I work, to create a safe, nurturing and warm ecosystem for my family, friends, and colleagues, to create a legacy that enables mankind to think, conceive and act better in some way or the other. I have earlier in some of my poems and essays, have termed this aspect of mine as being a “link”; a link between the problem and a possible inspiring and effective solution; a link between the higher self and lower baser emotions. Persona acts as a vehicle to implement the higher ideals, the divinity, in the world of form. It is a means, ofcourse!
Many a time I have a propensity to slip down to consider the persona as an end. This is exactly when I expect things for myself, or when the ego is at play, trying to establish its self importance. It also raises its ugly head when I tend not to understand others, and their perspective, when I hate someone, or envy or feel jealous of someone. Also the same thing is visible when I expect someone to behave in a particular way, and feel sad to find them behave totally contrary to the expectation. All these are various forms of holding the self importance – viewing my persona as an end. Certainly this brings an avalanche of sorrow and causes an immense leak of time and energy.
Hence I keep reminding myself that who I am, is just a means, and not an end. This gives me a lot of freedom, and lightness. It appears to me as a big baggage is out of my shoulder. I feel more in harmony with life.
2. My Family –
The same thing holds good in the context of my family. Family for me is a means to create a loving and nourishing ecosystem for growth, fulfillment and well being of all the people associated. It is an avenue to feel and provide that un-conditional care, affection, love and bond. It is the starting point for the bigger goal of universal love and compassion.
This perspective provides that space for things going against what I expect or would like to. There might be points of disconnect and discontents among family members. There might even be certain misunderstandings. But putting the context in place, things become easier to handle. The ego is kept at bay. Certainly this level of thinking is based and built over the point 1, explained above.
3. My Friends –
Friends for me are those few people in my life whom I like, without any judgment, or conditions. These people understand me for who I am. They know my follies, and shortcomings, but still love me. We get together and create things beautiful and creative. We converse together and stimulate each other intellectually. We are always available to each other whenever we need each other’s support. There certainly is an intersection between this group of people and the Family. For example my wife is my best friend, who knows me and understands me more than anyone in the world. Friends are, in my view, angels from heavens. They are the shadows of God, who help us to live life more optimally, for each other.
Now, coming to the means and ends. The moment you consider friends as an end, life becomes a prison. You get attached and possessive about the person. You have strict set of expectations from the other person. But the problem is that humans evolve. They change. And more importantly we are all different and unique. It is just not possible for any other human being to mould in the typical slot of my expectation. That attempt would be trying to fix a square peg in a round hole.
In his most openly philosophical work, “Civilization and its Discontents,” Freud maintained that our psyches are layered. As he explained it, much as Rome is built upon the ruins of past Romes, our emotions are stratified: what is past and below lives on and informs what is above, even if we refuse to acknowledge it. This law of the inner life also applies in telling ways to how we relate to so-called cold-facts. Given the pasts and social conditionings of all humans are different and unique, they tend to understand things differently. It is a lost game to expect people to behave in a particular way.
Psychologically every person has a very personal and unique way in looking at things in life. I have tried to explain the same in my previous essay - http://criativ-mind.blogspot.com/2011/08/no-every-man-is-island-entire-to.html
Given so many things so very unique, private and exclusive in each of us, it certainly is a lost game considering humans and relationships as “ends”. They should rather be considered as a dynamic means to express out what is inspiring and beautiful for one and his life.
Extrapolating the same context, the philosophy works even in romantic relationships. Moment the people involved consider the other as an end, the demise of the warmth in the relationship is eminent. Most the cases of divorce, heart breaks, and stresses involving romantic relationship is an inability in the part of the people involved in considering the relationship as a means, to a different end – an end to evolve, grow, learn, provide for each other, creating expressions of beauty and inspirations, support each other, help each other to express themselves differently, the way each wants. See, it is crucial to move the focus of the “end” away from the needs of the self, and consider the relationship as a means of self awareness, growth, and nourishing of the self and also the other. It is about providing that space to each other. Being able to do this is not a luxury. It is a necessity.
4. Institutions –
Institutions in my life include my work place, other institutions I attend to, either for pursuing a hobby, or for some other social activities. Each of these institutions is again a means for me to learn, grow, contribute and create a meaning for my life. It is about an effort to increase the relevance of my being alive.
Not considering these institutions as an end also involves not expecting anything from them, for my efforts give towards them. My actions in service of these institutions are whole and complete by themselves. They are not done in an expectation of any reward or recognition. This is because my actions are way to my wisdom. They help me grow, learn, and fulfill the meaning of my existence. These institutions provide a framework for my actions. The visions and missions these institutions stand for, give meaning to my life. These inspire me, so I am part of these institutions. They invoke certain actions from me, which makes me fulfilled.
The point is not just about fulfillment. It is also about providing an ecosystem to act. Action for me it the way to self realization. I have tried to explain this aspect of action in my essay - http://criativ-mind.blogspot.com/2011/10/musing-from-marcus-aurelius.html
5. My Emotions -
Emotions are earthly. They have evolutionary connotations. They are hardwired in our brains and body, and have their own finalities. Those finalities might not be the most optimum or inspiring. Emotions are the calls of the ancient genes we carry. They at most times are gross, and inappropriate at a particular contemporary situation.
Emotions should also be taken as a means, and not as an end. Emotions can be a beautiful means to express one’s true self. It can be a means to create a work of art, or an astounding scientific work. Emotions help us to bond with others, create communities, and play bigger games. Emotions enable us to leave a unique legacy behind, which leaves imprints of beauty when we are no more.
But, the moment emotions are taken as an “end”, problems arise. A self indulgent pursuit of hedonism neither helps the subject involved, nor the bigger community. Being a slave to emotions enslaves the persona to be puppetted by the selfish genes. In the long run that causes distress for humanity as a whole.
Emotions have to be transmuted, beautified, sanctified, and shaped to create works of art and inspirations. They cannot be mutilated. But certainly can be transmuted and transformed.
6. My Possessions –
I consider the worldly possessions I have, also as means, and not an end in themselves. For example owning a car, is not an end to itself. It is rather a means to safe, fast and comfortable travel from one place to other. A house is not an end to itself. Rather it is just a means to create a safe, secure and peaceful ecosystem for the family and friends.
This helps to create an un-attached perspective on one’s own possessions.
This idea of viewing life as a means and not as an end, to me, is a practical approach to an age old teachings of the scriptures of not being attached. Life and all its aspects are transient. They change. They are dynamic. Hindu philosophy names it as “Maya”. Buddhism calls it “Mara”. And other major schools of philosophies have their own labels to the same. Suffering is caused in the human world, when people get attached to illusion. All the aspects of life, including life itself is not permanent, and is destined to end in near future. It certainly is a lost game to be attached to the worldly matters, and considering them as an “end”. Having said that, I just want to clarify myself that I am not advocating austerity or solitude. It is just a reminder that all enchanting worldly matters are transient, and they need to be viewed as a “means” and not “ends”.
______________________________________________
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