Most of the life is spent dealing with emotional upheavals. These take form of heartburns, anger, hatred, jealousy, fear, worries, stresses, etc. Most of these are emotional eruptions triggered by one or more social situations. Paradoxically such eruptions are more severe when the situation involves people whom we are more attached.
In response to this psychologists proposed a mode of acting without fear on the one hand and without anger on the other. This brand of counseling goes under two headings –
1. Problem Solving Therapy, and
2. Emphatic Assertiveness Training.
The fundamental recommendation is : Treat any difficult social or interpersonal situation as a problem to be solved, by engaging the mind. The individual is trained to take a “problem solving stance”.
Most of the times we do not do this. We react only emotionally. Someone frustrates us and we lash out. With the problem solving stance the client is taught to consider strategies for resolving the situation. Using role playing the client is shown how to operate without emotional interference.
There is a very interesting direct consequence of having a problem solving stance. It presents before oneself a range of possible actions (solutions) that can be considered to get out of the situation. Allowing oneself to be winnowed by the emotions, leads one to a single narrow way of being. That way one typically focuses on just one type of the solution. For example, anger makes us think of punishing the other person (verbally if not physically), of threatening of seeking vengeance. In both cases a range of other possibilities are overlooked. When one takes a problem solving stance, the first step is to ask : What alternatives are available to me.
The easiest way to get away from the clutches of emotions (negative emotions to be specific) I find, is considering myself NOT as a noun – rather as verb. It helps when I think myself as a means, a medium, a link – trying to create something. In such a state of mind, it becomes less painful when the thought comes that someone hates me, or has hurt me, or I have lost something. The stance of the mind is always one of a problem solver. Fear gets transmuted into opportunities. Heartbreaks become arena to remind myself to go back being a verb, getting rid of the clutches of ego. Uncertainties of life, gives a tactile anticipation of something coming to be solved! Life thus becomes a saga of action – works of art – activities of creation – either solving a problem, creating something new, growing, learning and exploring. Everything becomes a verb!
Being in this stance, life is no more a waiting room for a beautiful destination. Nor it remains as a fearful and fragile anticipation that things should go right. Life becomes free and a carefree trip to adventure. It becomes a journey – and the person become a traveler. Each moment life becomes an arena to provide an opportunity for the person to leave out a mark – creating, solving, and fixing something that makes life more beautiful. Such a stance transcends the life of the person. It is eternal. It is not bound by the flesh and body of the person. Rather it is eternal! The best side-effect of such a stance is that the needs, cravings, and genetic urges of the person is automatically made less powerful, enabling to reduce entropy in the consciousness. This further enables the person to continue on a creative quest!
A stance that allows mankind to get a glimpse into divinity!
______________________________________________
Copy Right © All rights reserved - Samrat Kar
In response to this psychologists proposed a mode of acting without fear on the one hand and without anger on the other. This brand of counseling goes under two headings –
1. Problem Solving Therapy, and
2. Emphatic Assertiveness Training.
The fundamental recommendation is : Treat any difficult social or interpersonal situation as a problem to be solved, by engaging the mind. The individual is trained to take a “problem solving stance”.
Most of the times we do not do this. We react only emotionally. Someone frustrates us and we lash out. With the problem solving stance the client is taught to consider strategies for resolving the situation. Using role playing the client is shown how to operate without emotional interference.
There is a very interesting direct consequence of having a problem solving stance. It presents before oneself a range of possible actions (solutions) that can be considered to get out of the situation. Allowing oneself to be winnowed by the emotions, leads one to a single narrow way of being. That way one typically focuses on just one type of the solution. For example, anger makes us think of punishing the other person (verbally if not physically), of threatening of seeking vengeance. In both cases a range of other possibilities are overlooked. When one takes a problem solving stance, the first step is to ask : What alternatives are available to me.
The easiest way to get away from the clutches of emotions (negative emotions to be specific) I find, is considering myself NOT as a noun – rather as verb. It helps when I think myself as a means, a medium, a link – trying to create something. In such a state of mind, it becomes less painful when the thought comes that someone hates me, or has hurt me, or I have lost something. The stance of the mind is always one of a problem solver. Fear gets transmuted into opportunities. Heartbreaks become arena to remind myself to go back being a verb, getting rid of the clutches of ego. Uncertainties of life, gives a tactile anticipation of something coming to be solved! Life thus becomes a saga of action – works of art – activities of creation – either solving a problem, creating something new, growing, learning and exploring. Everything becomes a verb!
Being in this stance, life is no more a waiting room for a beautiful destination. Nor it remains as a fearful and fragile anticipation that things should go right. Life becomes free and a carefree trip to adventure. It becomes a journey – and the person become a traveler. Each moment life becomes an arena to provide an opportunity for the person to leave out a mark – creating, solving, and fixing something that makes life more beautiful. Such a stance transcends the life of the person. It is eternal. It is not bound by the flesh and body of the person. Rather it is eternal! The best side-effect of such a stance is that the needs, cravings, and genetic urges of the person is automatically made less powerful, enabling to reduce entropy in the consciousness. This further enables the person to continue on a creative quest!
A stance that allows mankind to get a glimpse into divinity!
______________________________________________
Copy Right © All rights reserved - Samrat Kar
There is conflict between a verb and a noun, a sense of outline. Probably, a missing link of connection that noun is responsible for any verb to exit. In a view of Heartbreaks outshining the ego; deferring the notion of a servile pursuit of vigilant quest of righteousness as in case of a service rendered in form of a resolution of a client.
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