Each person exists not as a single identity. The name, body and any other physical aspect of a person are just pointers to a simultaneous existence of a complex aggregation of varied tendencies. Each human being is a complex mosaic of numerous propensities, all varied from each other.
Each of such propensities, shades or tendencies show up in different physical scenarios, when activated by a social, or a biological stimuli, giving a whole new identity to the person. Hence the so called identity of a human being is a dynamic state, which changes based on the external or internal stimuli.
When there is a mutual enchantment between two human beings, it is based on a particular instance of the dynamic state their personalities. Actually, such enchantments are states of absolute identification of a trait by a human, that he/she discovers in another person. This trait is something that the person either appreciates very much, or is missing in his/her repertoire of traits.
Now, since humans are dynamic mosaic of varied traits and propensities, these states obviously keep changing. With every such change in the trait, a relationship which is based on such a static snapshot of a trait type, dwindles. It is an naivety to base a relationship on such enchantments of a snapshot of a changing diaspora of varied tendencies.
Love as a state of being, is completely different from such enchantments. When a person is truly in love with another person, there is no enchantment with one particular snapshot of varied tendencies. Rather, enchantment is with the entire dynamic mosaic of ever-changing diaspora of traits. This not only includes all the shades of the personality of the beloved, but also her the dreams, aspirations, thoughts, and actions. There might be a small proportion of the mosaic which the lover might not identify with. But, he accepts it, and respects the individuality of the beloved. In long term such a relationship develops primarily as unconditional. There is time when it is all about giving, rather than taking in such relationships. Instances of such relationships are prevalent in long marriages in eastern civilizations, mother-son relationships, sometimes between close buddies, etc.
This realization of dynamism of human psychological set up is pretty enriching, primarily because of the following aspects it unveils -
1. It exposes the naivety of craving for a beloved, for what one craves for is not the beloved in entirety. That is just a tiny snapshot of the dynamic process what is the being of the beloved.
2. We fall in love with psychological constructs - not human beings. When we like some one, we are actually liking the psychological snapshot of that person that is visible to us at that point of time.
3. This points to another very interesting thing. We identify with a snapshot of the traits, which are "visible to us", at any point of time. So, loving someone, is more of a function of the inner state of a human being, rather than what the other person does, or is.
The same person might be judged as an enchanting person by someone, and at the same time, rejected as a bore by someone else. It is just what was being projected out of each of these individuals while interacting with that single person.
See, love is a function of perception. And perception is a direct manifestation of what is projected out from you. It is - "what we see what we believe" , and not that "we believe what we see".
4. It is a deep seated ignorance to actually hate a human being. It is actually psychologically impossible to hate a human being. As described above, humans are a mosaic of varied traits, you can never manage to hate all the different colors in the mosaic. It is mathematically impossible too.
5. It calls for immense compassion. As a corollary to the point 4, you are bound to be compassionate to all! May be all the masters since ages, from all the parts of this planet were hinting to the same aspect, when they used to say - "Love thy enemies".
6. Humans are an aggregation of infinite potentialities. We are limitless in what we can achieve, do or conceive. What we make out of our life, and think of ourselves, is another such limited static snapshot we take of our dynamic diaspora of unlimited potential. This aspect was nicely state of Henry Ford when he had mused - "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right"
7. Being consistent with one set of beliefs and ideologies are voluntary stagnation of our limitless being. As per nature it is not possible, unless it is forced on, by artificial shallow social constructs. It was rightly put by Oscar Wilde when he had said, "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."
Consistency is being in a static place. Life is dynamic.
But my readers might point fingers at this claim, pointing out to the need of consistency in happy relationships. I defer. It is not consistency that keeps relationships going. It is rather on contrary. It is the dynamism of growing together, both psychologically, spirituality and romantically that nourishes a relationship. Consistency is death. It is not life.
8. One becomes understanding to the mood swings of the partner. Same thing applies on to any body. One just does not get upset if someone behaves in a way contrary to the expectations imposed.
Similar to the above 8 corollaries to this anatomy of Love, many can be created. But it is of immense importance to be aware of the bottom line - We as humans in flesh and blood are just pointers to a limitless expression of a formless divinity!
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