In Search of Happiness

Along with many, I was always intrigued on what happiness is all about. Was it a desire of accumulating more, and better things? Was it just a craving to be loved by others. Was it just about pleasures of food, sex, rest, and other physical and psychological stimulations?

Along with this, there was another question that always had troubled me - was there a way to be perpetually happy, each and every moment in life - till we die - and beyond?

Most of the times I found that the happiness of mine was function of something outside me. Either it was the acceptance or recognition from someone else, or a craving to accumulate stuffs of un-ending desires. Sometimes it was the longing for a break, or the other times it was craving for fun. Whenever these outside agents were missing, there was no question of feeling happy.

Off late I came upon an interesting realization! I discovered the difference between pleasure and happiness. Pleasure was something that was passive. It was pleasure that most of the times I was in search of. Pleasure in the form of rest, break, food, recognition, sex, latest consumer electronics, cars, shoes, dresses etc were certainly things those helped me to have a better and richer state of being, but they were not the only aspects of perpetual happiness. Those were like nice to have stuffs, which were definitely there to make me feel better and happy. But at the same time, they caused boredom pretty soon. And then there was this new craving for something new. Yes, again these new things resulted in me being happy for again certain small duration of time, till there was this another set of new desires coming up.

It is perfect to desire newer things. For that marks the continuity of life, and keeps the universe expanding. A stagnancy of desire is synonymous to death.

But, you see, each of these desires were always focussed outside. It appeared that I am a puppet to the things outside me. It was actually things outside me which really had control over my happiness.

I would be happy if there was no traffic jam. I would be happy if my boss smiled at me in the morning. I would be happy if I get love in return. I would be happy if I would get a good deal while buying my next gadget. I would be happy if people really understood me...and the list continues.

It was like the happiness of my self, was in the hands of everybody except me! Now that was really a very dis-empowering context to live life from!

But then, my involvement with certain very challenging and mission critical assignments at work, few hobbies of mine, certain books I read, really alit entirely new realization in me on what happiness is all about!

I realized that what I was searching for labeling it happiness was something that was just an indulgence which creates a temporary homeostasis that calmed down a temporal genetic urge. Some authors call this state as pleasure.

But what really brought a smile in my face, and gave me a perpetual sense of bliss was when I was doing something that helped me grow. When involved in a creative, and challenging work, which I innately liked, I could taste a state of bliss on which I was totally in control!

For the first time, I realized that happiness can be accomplished solely from within.

Another very important realization was that happiness was just a side effect of my act of doing something which was helping me create a meaning for my existence. It was either by writing a beautiful poem, or wording down my thoughts in my blog, or might be it was when I was involved in a difficult task in pressing tight schedule, Or it was an attempt to learn a new skill.

It was pretty much an awakening for me to realize that what was really making me happy would otherwise be look like a toil for someone else! It was always a process of being a "Butterfly" from being a "Caterpillar" that really gave me the kick. It was that inherent struggle to grow that was turning me on. The old pleasures of homeostatic masturbation were always in place. But then, those were not the primary focus.

What really kept me moving was anything that helped me grow. May be for the first time I really understood the true essence of Darwin's book "Origin of Species". May be by design we are programed for this. May be that is what keeps the humanity expanding, and taking a course which is better, more beautiful and more profound than past.

So, the pursuit of happiness is actually a search for meaning, for myself. A meaning that I was trying to get out of my work and hobbies. A meaning that I was sculpting with each moment of NOW in my life. It was more about what I was doing with the present, to create something that makes me grow, rather than, what the present was all about!

So, it was of pertinent importance to choose the actions that can really give perpetual happiness moment by moment. It is important not to inundate oneself with homeostatic indulgence. Although it has its own place. When we really need a homeostasis we can always choose so. It is of prime importance to know that it is our search of meaning, that can really give us happiness!

Happiness is a process of making an attempt to grow our consciousness either with a new skill, or reading a new book, or creating a work of art, or contemplate some new distinction, thereby creating a value for ourself and others in the process. More complex is the task at hand, and higher the skill required to get the task done, profounder is the Happiness!

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